Hoarding the Wounded

One of the greatest rules that Nurturers can remember is that its OK to heal and guide broken winged birds, wounded animals and needy acquaintances. Its not OK to allow personal space to lose its boundaries so that one has nothing left to give, emotionally or financially . Becoming a  slave to the addiction to "helping"  lost souls, may secretly be a way to silence a personal cry for empowerment. One day the worst possible scenario can happen.  Waking up and realizing there is  nothing left to give..no more money to loan, or food to spare puts the hoarder in the position of  being labeled "the abuser."

Often the homeless or broken just go to the next emotional hoarder and reap the benefits of stroking their ego.  For over packed helpless animals or adapted children, the "hoarder of the wounded" risks being hauled away to court, headlined in the papers and radio as the worst possible villain.  Better to guide with boundaries, and avoid the pang of being mislabeled.  The purpose of healing is for the wounded ones to recover and fly free, inspired and healthy. It is important to announce when you have reached over load.  It is not healthy to stay in relationships with the wounded and lost simply because one desperately needs to be needed.

SIGNS YOU ARE A HOARDER OF THE WOUNDED

•  You go out of your way to help, asking for nothing back in return ever.

• Every  room and corner is filled with lost people or animals. Space and privacy are completely gone.
• Crates, trailers, garages and kennels are filled to the max with animals lost and purchased.
• You go out of your way to be friends with lost souls, going out of your way to become their leader and guide.
• You go out of your way to avoid strong healthy people, as they make you uncomfortable.

•  Your life begins to look like a crash pad for the homeless

•  You begin to lend money for the thrill of being “owed to”. The rules are all on your terms.

•  Your relationships consist of lost souls that never get it together.

•  You only feel comfortable around rejected people. {They never feel you are really one of them and even check you for wires, using your strength as a cover up.}

•  Your so busy catching everyone else when they fall, you forget what its like to have people catch YOU when you fall.

Please know I am not advocating turning a blind eye to the helpless....but keeping your boundaries. 

HEAL THYSELF FIRST, TO HEAL OTHERS

•  Understand that people will see you as who you are...regardless of who and what you "save".

•  Set boundaries to curb your self from loaning money out knowing full well you won't be paid back..

•  Reach out to someone you feel is as strong as you are. Balance your circle of friends with strong and the wounded.

• Take in only enough animals that you can afford to feed and take to the Vet comfortably. One sick animal can kill all your pets. Over crowding is inhumane....not compassionate.

•  When you hear the inner voice of  insecurity beat you up around strong people, hold your head high, lower your voice pitch and speak slowly.You need strong people too!

•  Allow others to heal you when you’re sad. You will be cherished more.

•  A good rule of thumb is to help selflessly away from home at shelters, but not to let your home  become a YCA or Animal Shelter.  Reason with your self.

•  Everyone needs boundaries. Nurture with love unconditionally, help out in shelters and avoid being mislabeled when your compassionate heart takes on too much .

Remember even Jesus and Buddha healed the broken, but went home to their equal minded Tribe for support, love and honor.